27 July 2005

Man, this cough syrup is goood stuff...

“Don’t effing post pictures of your sodding cats.” Harry sagely advises neophyte bloggers. “Nobody gives a rats arse.”

Well, obviously; with the possible exception of the rat who ultimately must sacrifice its’ derriere to prove Harry wrong. Well, dulce et decorum est, and all that.

In the last week I have been inundated with imaginary e-mails from non-existant people all wanting to know how Sooty became part of the Scientist household. Well, since I can think of nothing else to write about. I’ll tell you.

I found Sooty abandoned in the National Gallery when I was doing some late night art acquisition.

UNCLEAN!” Announced the Bob the parrot when I came home. (I had once gone through a pirate phase; long story). Well, Bob would know better than me. I’m a slob. I bunged Sooty into the sink.

UNCLEAN!” Squawked Bob. Hmm Sooty looked fine to me, but…

UNCLEAN!” Christ. I was bleeding profusely by this time, and I was getting the feeling that Sooty wasn’t enjoying the baths either. Maybe I should have taught Bob another word.

UNCLEAN!” The camel’s back broke.

Parrots taste like chicken.

Sooty enjoying his "welcome" baths.

What Sooty Likes.
Making awful-goddammits and not covering them up.

What Sooty does not like.
The dryer “fluff Cycle”

Sooty’s Dim Sum of all Fears.

(Pictures scrumped from dailyhaha.com)

And that's the way I likes it.