27 July 2005

Man, this cough syrup is goood stuff...

“Don’t effing post pictures of your sodding cats.” Harry sagely advises neophyte bloggers. “Nobody gives a rats arse.”

Well, obviously; with the possible exception of the rat who ultimately must sacrifice its’ derriere to prove Harry wrong. Well, dulce et decorum est, and all that.

In the last week I have been inundated with imaginary e-mails from non-existant people all wanting to know how Sooty became part of the Scientist household. Well, since I can think of nothing else to write about. I’ll tell you.

I found Sooty abandoned in the National Gallery when I was doing some late night art acquisition.

UNCLEAN!” Announced the Bob the parrot when I came home. (I had once gone through a pirate phase; long story). Well, Bob would know better than me. I’m a slob. I bunged Sooty into the sink.

UNCLEAN!” Squawked Bob. Hmm Sooty looked fine to me, but…

UNCLEAN!” Christ. I was bleeding profusely by this time, and I was getting the feeling that Sooty wasn’t enjoying the baths either. Maybe I should have taught Bob another word.

UNCLEAN!” The camel’s back broke.

Parrots taste like chicken.


Sooty enjoying his "welcome" baths.


What Sooty Likes.
Food.
Sleep
Making awful-goddammits and not covering them up.

What Sooty does not like.
Children.
The dryer “fluff Cycle”
Me

Sooty’s Dim Sum of all Fears.


(Pictures scrumped from dailyhaha.com)


And that's the way I likes it.