04 August 2005

Hate Mail

I’m simply not getting enough of it, so I have decided to embark on a campaign of hurling demeaning epithets at three minority groups per week. Offended respondents are requested to limit their invective to one reply per customer. This week's winners:

People who feel the need to rapidly pull out in front of me, then slow down to 25MPH, especially when there are no vehicles behind me.
Really brilliant. Put your life in the hands of a speeding psychopath. The only reason I don’t crush you like a bug, is that I don’t want gibbets of your fat, bloated carcass rotting in my air-conditioning duct. If your IQ should ever get as high as your speed, sell.

Spam respondents.
What the hell is wrong with you idiots? Do you honestly think that you’ll be offered a 0% loan that will also make your cock larger? You people are too stupid to be allowed to breed. Report to Nurse Bobbit for corrective surgery.

Morons that stop five abreast in shopping centre entrances, gazing about in drooling wonder at the panoply of cheaply made Chinese crap
Christ, it’s a bazillion degrees out here in the parking lot. If you inbred booger-picking-morons don’t get the hell out of my way, I will rip off your gonads myself!

There you have it for this week. Please submit your comments or suggestions for new minorities to degrade in the box below.

And that's the way I likes it.