03 August 2005


I am not making this up! The Chinese are launching pig sperm into space to, ehem, “Test the effects of space on semen”.

I’m calling bullshit on this one. Why would anyone care about the effects of space on pig semen? Last I checked there weren’t all that many pig farms up there.

Oh sure, they may be concerned about human semen, but then why not launch some of that? Don’t try to tell me there’s a shortage of man chowder in China; the population figures show otherwise.

No, I believe that the Chinese government is sending a discrete message to any Islamic terrorist that may be eying Chinese targets with interest:

“Fuck with us, and we’ll rain hot pig jizz on your heads from orbit.”

Brilliant! I’m not a Muslim, and it still gives me pause.

Okay lads, the Chinese job is off.

And that's the way I likes it.