21 October 2005

Broad Banned

Well, that took a lot longer than anticipated, but now, thanks to a shiny new satellite uplink, I am now have broadband and therefore am the envy of my neighbors who know what a computer is and care about internet pornography.

While this rules out most people within a 20 mile radius (traditionalist “dead tree” types), I am sure that there must be one or two that will be irritated by my gloating, so here goes:

Gloat. Gloat. GLOOOOOOOOOOAT.

Gloat (smug smirk).

Now, those of you that live in cities are thinking “What’s the big deal? We have had broadband for years.” Well my friends, the deal is that I live amongst the hillbillies like Jane Goodall lived amongst the chimps, so I have had to deal with a dial-up connection that was only marginally better than two tin cans and a bit of string. And that's with two slow kids that can't keep the string taut.

So, what do I get, now that I have more antennas on my house than a Chinese spy ship trawler? Well more spam for one.

And a burgeoning case of carpal tunnel syndrome in my left wrist.


And that's the way I likes it.