03 October 2005

I'm a rocket man, Rocket MAAAN!

I brought back all of the usual souvenirs from central Asia; silk and woolen carpets, cunning wood carvings, intricate copper work, Matryoshka dolls of the current dictator “Beloved Leader” (internal dolls showing him in his KGB uniform; the innermost being a small but functional bomb), painstakingly calligraphed and illuminated Arabic miniatures and of course, Giardiasis.

I should have known better; I am a seasoned traveler (literally, during a trip to Papua, N.G.). I know better than to drink beer that comes in bottles with hand written labels, but they were the last dozen on the shelf. The bartender assured me that this was a special authentic central Asian beer; brewed naturally from mare’s milk in the semi-cleaned lower intestinal tract of a not-so-recently deceased yak.

He further intimated that this was the secret of Genghis Khan’s remarkable success. The Horde, after drinking this “Beer” would storm any wall, destroy any gate, run-over any small child, in order to get to a loo.

It turns out he was telling the truth. Anyone want a bottle? I've got some left.

And that's the way I likes it.