02 February 2006

Dr. Evil Seuss, phD.

Alas, the wife is quite irate,
When yesterday I came home late:

“I found blond hair upon your collars
And in your coat some folded dollars,

"Talk, or I shall get the nippers,
Again, you’ve been amongst the strippers!”

“I haven’t seen a single stripper,
Whoever told you is a fibber!”

Did you tell them you were rich?”
(Oh, Crap, the bartender’s a snitch!)

“I did not tell them I was rich,
Leave me be, you crazy bitch!”

“And last week when you played the snooker,
You were drooling on a hooker!”

“There are no women where I play pool,
Whoever told you is a fool.”

“That info came from my dear mother!”
(Another witness I should smother!)

“My, dear, it’s true I did some tipple,
But I did not see a single nipple!”

“I’ll warn you now; forever stop it,
or I'll out-snip Lorena Bobbit!”

“I have not groped a single breast, *
So put this silly thing to rest!”

If there’s one thing that provokes my fears,
It’s Gretchen and her pinking shears.

“Trust me honey, I’ll be good,
Keep pointy things from my manhood…”

* (I did try once with Margaret Thatcher,
She’s damn quick though; I couldn’t catch her.)

And that's the way I likes it.