06 April 2006

These Things I Believe, Part II

(Part I)

I believe that if success was really 99% perspiration, the deodorant industry would go bankrupt.

I believe that I will stop trying to build and unnecessarily large weather machine, and just buy an SUV instead.

I believe that George Romero got his zombie film ideas buy observing 14 year old boys on an all female topless beaches. (“Breasts…. BREEEEEEEEASTS!”)

I believe women would change that last statement to include all males over the age of 14.

I believe that Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms should be a convenience store, not a Federal law enforcement agency.

I believe that necessity is the mother of invention, but the skank-ho has no idea who’s the father.

I believe in angles.

I believe that those who claim that they do not, are just being obtuse.

I believe I can fly, just as soon as I get these bars off my window.

I believe that a cocktail of Irish whiskey and Thorazine is quite possibly the mostts wondefrul kjraslkkkkkk, mmmnaaaaaaaaaaaahhh

And that's the way I likes it.