12 May 2006

Open mouth, insert foot.

Alright, so I was driving like a crank addict with his pants ablaze, but I was ensconced within a group of like-minded drivers as I tooled by the police officer at a mere 35MPH over the speed limit.

Being in the middle of the pack, I had little fear, but he pulled in behind me and flicked on his lights.

Well, he couldn’t want me since I am a good quasi law abiding citizen. I ignored him.

He flipped on his siren.

I pulled to the side and wave him on, but he settled in behind me.


I covered any incriminating evidence with my usual truck detritus and look as innocent as I can.

“Do you know why I pulled you over?” He asked.

“Well yeah, but I was just keeping up with traffic to avoid being rear ended. Everyone else was going the same rate.” I responded in my best Jethro Clampett. Honesty and dimwittedness are the best policies.

“Do you ever go fishing?” He snapped.

“Sure…” I’d no clue where he was going.

“Do you ever catch all the fish?”

“Well of course!” I answer. “The trick is using more than one stick of dynamite. You see… Aw shit. That’s illegal too, isn’t it?”


And that's the way I likes it.